CHAPTER 6
Hearing voices is the first step towards madness.
When I opened my eyes I found on the bedside table a note informing me that Frank had moved to the hotel. I found out later that Erica, taking advantage of the fact of meeting him alone in the kitchen the morning after the funeral, had done so many questions and then watch it with the contempt that he had understood that rather than go on like this would have stayed even on the road.
A smile came naturally to me, put my note on the bedside table and I stiracchiai. I cried all night and I was exhausted.
Looking in the mirror I realized that the more time passed since the day of the funeral and the worse. The trick now account for little or nothing of the dark circles that had taken up residence under my eyes.
Sbuffai and at least tried to fix her hair, hoping to reduce that feeling that I turned into a panda.
I wore a dress found in my old closet. It was white and when I was 17 I came to the ankles, was now a little smaller, but I was fine though. When it fell below
Erica looked me all aflutter.
- And where did you get that from? I thought to have him thrown! - Exclaimed before returning to his newspaper.
Actually I found that did not read anything, just looked at the horoscope, the announcements of marriages and deaths.
Today on the page in question was an article about my father, who occupied the entire sheet, together with a photo in black and white while he was handed the keys to the city for services rendered to the municipality.
conspicuously as if a donation at a time of crisis could be considered a "service".
- Erica was in my closet! You have not completely rid of all my stuff, be careful, because people could find some proof of my existence here! - I joked, but she interpreted it correctly and you clouded.
Definitely we did not know at all.
- Emma, please do not say such things. You know it is not. Even if now your father is dead ... - Began seriously.
Oh what I had set in motion? The turn which had taken the "conversation" was very dangerous, I just had to put an end.
- Mom please do not! Just kidding. - I exclaimed trying to raise their voices to overcome her.
She jumped on the spot, frightened by my cry, and it was then that I realized for the first time as it was reduced.
He had purple circles under his eyes, and consistently took the position that seemed much, much older.
When he realized that the team was stiff and with a "OK" uttered in the most arrogant can you brought the coffee and the newspaper in his room.
I felt a wave of sadness through me, seems now more than ever, mother and daughter. I covered my mouth with his hand just a second before starting to cry.
There was a drug to forget? Grey's Anatomy had spoken, too bad it was all fiction.
I left the house directly to the hotel where he was staying Frank, determined to distract me from thoughts of death and emptiness.
Piazzai me behind the door with a fake smile that much more real, and knocked. I realized that the door seemed very harder than usual, or maybe it was my arm that was much more fragile ...
- Hey - I exclaimed rocking on his feet when I opened it.
- Hello - I answered him giving me a kiss on the cheek. - Did you sleep a little better tonight? - Churches doubtful. My face was talking bad enough alone.
- Mmm - biascicai, bringing them into the room without waiting for the invitation. I fell on the bed and moved a little cloud of dust.
- You could get a better room, that smell of mildew, Frankie - I said, coughing up dust.
- It was not necessary, now is a matter of days and go away, the rest of the chores you can leave your mother and your sister, your presence is no longer needed here. - Said, sitting next me.
- Already ... - I murmured softly. I looked at the sky cleared out of the window not too convinced volermene go away so soon.
There were too many things that I have not returned.
I jumped up, I felt impatient and restless, that room gave me claustrophobia, and Frank was giving me on my nerves, how could it be always so calm and peaceful?
- Frankie, how many times have I said that I do not like that shirt? But you always put it, you care at all! - Sbraitai.
He looked at me puzzled, surely in his head had become crazy.
- Hey, Ems, stay calm, but what's the matter? - Said rising uncertainty away from the bed and "accidentally" a few paces from me.
- I do not take nothing, or at least nothing that you can understand it seems. It does not seem difficult, do not put that shirt again! - Continued, although I felt that I was about to cross the threshold of exaggeration. She was so beautiful but the feeling I was feeling, semi liberation.
- Ok, ok, then I just do not take off the start. - He said removing that horrible brown sweater.
- But bravo! Emma satisfied, so he's good and good, this spoiled child! - I yelled excitedly. - Do you know what I say? Save it too your sweater. - Concluded that room and went out slamming the door behind him dreadful.
I wandered aimlessly for a few hours in the streets "decorated with bows" of Madison, frustration and guilt, however, do not leave me.
so I headed in the only place where I could not feel bad: The lake.
The view of the lake fills my heart, had always been a wonderful vision, and even now after so many years I emozinava.
I sat on the bank and began to throw stones into the water. My mood unnamed er always there but now it was replacing the guilt.
Frank had no fault, I should not have to vent my frustrations on him, he was the right thing ...
My eye fell on a group of ducks which flutters happy little away from me.
One of them had a following of five adorable chicks.
At that moment I suddenly realized that life goes on, despite all the tragedies and despite all the pain. I felt that all my frustration was due to the fact that it was not present to him when he needed it, and I realized I did not want to return so soon, I felt almost compelled to help my family to heal my 10 year absence.
After placing their lives at last I could go back to mine.
sighed.
I thought of Frank, as I had left. I got up and went back to his hotel resigned, I had to speak clearly. It would have been understanding and I would certainly supported, as always ...
I came back outside his door and knocked gently, even knocking the way I apologize.
He opened it and looked at me grimly. I hated when I looked in his face painted with that disappointment, I felt judged.
- I'm sorry - I whispered before he could say anything.
- You know I did not want. - I said a little louder, approaching him with a pitch.
His expression was torn, his share touchy told him to make me a little, but his gentle side won, fortunately for me.
I cleared my throat, I was hoping not to snap, I was really tired of crying.
- We talk about Frankie. Please do not interrupt me, if I do not say now I do not know if I will again say it out loud ... - Broke out in one breath. I had threatened to cry even once, maybe I was learning to control this new and odious me.
- Come on ... - Answered unsure.
talked a long time, or rather, I talked a long time. I told him that every moment I spent with my father and told him that I was missing, and everything I felt and that I knew in my short trip to the lake.
He obviously understood my reasons and supported me 100%. I had no doubts, I had planned everything. We hugged for a long time and then went home. It was already evening.
I opened the door trying to be quieter possible, Erica could have already gone to sleep.
The house was dark and silent, and the moon shone in all the ornaments in a way of Erica left.
I felt back girl, when at night I was afraid of monsters.
quickened my pace up the stairs. I was ridiculous, but I knew that this whole farce was due in Madison, was the city that brought misfortune.
I went stealthily to the study, perhaps now I could take a look.
I lowered the handle, the tension and silence I pressed hard against his ears, and finally pulled.
But nothing happened, the door was locked.
Damn! Erica wanted at all costs to keep all of the dark matter. I went back dejected and
angry in my room, but I stopped short.
were those voices that I hear? Or was it my imagination?
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