CHAPTER 4
do not know a person ever really a person, not even after his death.
Il funerale va bene, tutti trusti poi arriva un tizio che parla con la madre e Emma sente solo una parte, (brogli finanziari) quindi fa le sue deduzioni e comincia a mettere in discussione tutta la sua infanzia.
Some memories of his father
------
I awoke with a start, sweating and breathing heavily, fortunately it was only a dream.
Back pain was felt in waves because of that horrible bed, I had a headache and, finally, to crown a day that could not start worse, I could not find the sheet with more commissions.
was the day "X" and did not even know if everything was in order, I would never forgive her for ruining the last day of commemoration for my father, surely the rest of my family would not have done.
I ransacked the whole room without a mini results when Mara came to remind me that I had to prepare to go down.
- By the way, the sheet I took it last night from your desk, we're right on time on the road map if you're in a hurry to get ready. - Asserted before closing the door behind him.
Sgranai eyes, I could not believe my ears.
I thought my bad mood could not get worse again, but I was wrong enormously, I was angry and sad.
I dressed in tears of rage and pain, and fell completely recomposed.
The room was full of long faces, but then I could not expect cheerful chatter.
so I joined the choir, trying not to break the delicate balance that kept me from crying bitterly.
My father did not want to see me crying like a helpless little girl.
The girl was gone for a long time, and I learned on my skin that it is best not to show their emotions in public.
started the replay of the pre-ceremony, and I had to nod passively to all the people who approached to offer me his condolences.
Without lifting his head so I went for a few hours, and I did not notice the person that I was approaching to take advantage of his turn of condolence.
- yet I offer you my deepest condolences for your loss. - He said the woman, with her unique voice.
sprang out of his head, what a mistake, and crossed his eyes.
Again I felt a fool, I realize to look like you're in the wrong is more complete.
it possible that I could not behave like an adult?
It had been 10 years since the last time I set foot in that city, I was profoundly changed, Yet when I arrived at Madison felt that the time had frozen in 2000 was very strong.
stammered something in reply.
She was flanked by her husband, state senator of Wisconsin, and made it perfectly with the idea of the American dream. Handsome, rich, happy ... Perfect.
- Jack was a great man, has created a vacuum behind him. - Added the husband seriously, had the most magnetic voice I'd ever heard.
The feeling that if she wanted would not have long to convince me to throw his way from the bridge in my mind.
stammered something else, my eyes still trapped in hers.
- Miss, non preoccuparti, sono passati tanti anni da quell'episodio. - Disse lei, a quanto pare divertita dalla mia difficoltà.
La sua frase sortì l'effetto di rendermi completamente incapace di spiccicar parola.
Con un filo di voce strozzata dalla mia stessa gola mi congedai ed uscii di casa.
Non riuscivo più a respirare.
Eccola la crisi che pensavo arrivasse almeno tra qualche giorno.
Mi sentivo frustrata e incatenata per dover stare in quel luogo a me completamente estraneo, e mi sentivo talmente male per la perdita di mio padre che l'aria nei polmoni non entrava più.
Incatenata per dover stare tra quella gente, e ancor peggio per sentirmi inerme e stupida proprio come quando avevo 17. Erica
Surely he could not say he had a perfect family, the eldest daughter sent to reform school after the first signs of rebellion, the second runaway at 18 and never returned.
Its educational method, however, I felt it weighed on me like never before.
Groping among the blind eyes of tears I hid behind one of the many ornamental shrubs that appealed so much to Erica, and I burst into silent tears more true in recent times.
- I thought it was best to talk away from other guests, I understand that she is not the ideal day, but must understand that deadlines are met. - Said the voice of a man not far from where I was.
Fearing discovery, I tried to compose myself, but as soon as I heard the voice that followed the male I stopped at the position where I was.
Such an item, the swift and sharp, could only belong to my mother.
- Yes, now I think is not at the right time for this sort of thing, I have not had time to analyze all the documents of my husband, even at this point I should tell my widower. You have a minimum of compassion for the family pain? -
- Madam, I'm just a little wheel of the cart, her husband has never delayed a payment, but I am afraid that if she did not continue in the future may have to talk to someone higher than me, and then will be the time you have to worry the health of the rest of his family. - Threatens man.
from where I was I could not see his face, but I had come the goose bumps, Erica did not have to be less scared.
- Listen .. - Erica attacked scared, but he stopped abruptly.
- Not sure that this information will be revealed right now, I guess the $ 10,000 pension and insurance on the life of her husband if she may forget ... -
What information? And those concerned? I was so confused that I missed the first part of response, and felt only a resigned and imploring:
- Let me one more week to review the situation and then meet me in town to define specifications. -
feel the tension down to the point where I was, my brain grinding hypothesis, already forgetful of my father's funeral.
The silence lasted a few seconds, although it seemed hours, the man finally agreed and went away.
My father was blackmailed? How long? And how come he had never rebelled, but continued to pay regular sums of money to these people? Who was this man who put hours cornered my mother?
but especially in that matter had entered my father??
I do not know how long I stood there thinking, at some point I realized that I was not alone anymore.
- Welcome back with us Emma. - David cried when I saw him.
- Oh, I'm sorry, I was thinking. Are you enjoying the party? - I answered absently. The thought kept returning to the discussion immediately following.
I should have said to Eric that I had heard it all? I could help, but doubted his reaction. He could also go into a panic trying to keep out of everything ...
- Party? EMMA Hey, but what are you thinking? - David said, abruptly interrupting my thoughts.
I became immediately aware of the blunder I had done, and obviously my face could not betray me getting all red tomatoes. Definitely my new
hated me.
- Oh, sorry, I'm very sorry for my loss that I do not think what I say. Sorry - I tried.
Weak excuse, I realized that if he was not drunk by the way I looked.
- I understand ... However, what have you done in those 10 years? You never came back. - He said, flying over my faux pas.
- Well, I went to Los Angeles, as I think you have said, with my aunt, my father's sister, the one with red hair.
I worked and studied together, and eventually after some sacrifices have been able to find work in a comic. I write reviews of newly released films and books, nothing of that. - I declared with a shrug.
He nodded, frowning to think of something, shut up his deeply irritated me, now I simply entered my head.
- Listen ... -
began - I was wondering if ... - He said at the same time.
Oh, well, we missed another moment of embarrassment, the queen of the embarrassment I felt that day.
- Sorry, before you. - Said he smiles affably. He had a nice smile though.
Eager to put an end to that conversation I completed my sentence to leave and went home.
I thought all the time what I had heard among the guests and tried a man I had ever seen, but never having seen nearly half of those invited my search did not produce the desired results.
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